Wedding Photos

Wedding Photos

Monday, August 22, 2011

My dysfunctions…

When you are young and about to marry, people usually warn you about getting used to your mate’s habits.  Does he put the cap back on the tooth paste? Will he remember to put the toilet seat down?  Things like that, but when you are older..  No one warns you on it.  It is assumed you are old enough to know these things. 

I wished the good meaning people who advise the young would also take time to advice the “not so young”. The advice I would give an “older newlywed” would be: Speak out!  If there are things that bug you from the beginning they will bug you more later on when you aren’t seeing life thru pink colored glass.  (This piece of advice is very popular)

The other piece of advice I would give (and most important) is..  Some of the things that may bug you may be YOUR DYSFUCTION and not something your poor mate should be fussed over.

After living alone for so long a person develops his/her own system or way of doing things.  Having a mate come in who does things a bit different may bother you but if it drives you insane, then “baby THAT is your DYSFUNCTION”.  If the end result is the same and you are still irritated YOU have the problem and shouldn’t freak out on your mate!

Folding laundry IS my dysfunction.  I fold socks and underwear differently than my husband.  At first it bugged me a lot, but I realized (big light bulb moment) that he was a forty something with his own quirks.  I could not expect him to change because of my ridiculous habits!  It also dawned on me that I should be happy he even folds laundry (but mostly when asked) when friends are complaining about doing it all ALWAYS!! 

I had to come to terms that if I AM folding laundry that week it will get done MY WAY, if he is... Well, he can have his drawers however he wants!  I just have to be thankful he participates in doing our house chores as I am REFOLDING my garments.


  1. When one marries later in life they bring more life experience to the marriage but they also bring more habits. There is no right way to do things most of the time just the way we learned to do something that has become "the way"over the years. Differences are exciting in a a marriage as the whole becomes bigger than the sum of the parts. However, it is easy to let the little things annoy us if we aren't careful. I have found it best to pick the things that are really important to me to try and find a compromise, the other ones really don't matter all that much. This is a fantastic blog with sage observations and life lessons from the heart!

  2. That's my baby--putting the funk in disfunction! ;)

    Actually, what you describe are quirks or habits or preferences that don't rise to the level of disfunction. And you make it so easy to put up with those little things, because we're pretty much in synch on the major issues.

  3. I don't even fold my socks. I have sock draw and I just toss 'em in like a big old sock salad.