Work here, work there, work everywhere.

After our move to Austin I had to keep my job to hang on to the health coverage that would be taking care of my scheduled surgery.  I was able to telecommute part of the week before and after (surgery) and for a while having to drive in to San Antonio wasn’t so bad. I worked for a pretty good company for over a decade, but the 200-plus mile round trip began to sting after a while.  I began a job search closer to home, but shortly after I again ended up in the hospital.  This time with a broken kneecap. I was fortunate the San Antonio job gave me a flexible schedule and allowed me to work from home, because the recovery time was much longer. Just as soon as I was back up to speed there were big changes at work that stopped me from telecommuting, which gave me a bigger incentive to switch jobs.

I would like to say that in no time I was able to find a job in Austin. Nope, that wasn’t the case.  I am a firm believer that everything happens “in time” or “God’s time”.  I had a job offer that fell thru and a job offer I declined for something much promising that ended up not promising at all.  Then my mother suffered a car wreck that had a few complications and pushed her in to early retirement.  It became a blessing to still be working in San Antonio and be able to help care for my mom. (job search on hold)

I had begun to stay in San Antonio a few nights a week and that quickly turned in to the full work week with me driving home on weekends. Not surprising it put a strain on our marriage. I became a part time wife and felt like a guest in my own home.  Both the honey and I would do our best not to waste precious time complaining or bickering when we saw each other, but the restraint made it worse because often we would end up blowing up at each other for insignificant things. 

I worked for a long period without any time off using any accumulated vacation to schedule job interviews.  Not knowing my way around a new city (Austin) made it difficult to gauge whether job prospects were conveniently located. If you live in or near a large and very congested city you know how easily 20 to 30 miles can equate to a 60 minute-plus commute. 

Again, “in time/God’s time”. My employer was aware of my job search, so I was a prime candidate when the need to cut some positions came around. I had a bit of notice so was able to line up some temp work.  I ended my longest held job on a Friday and started a temporary job the following Monday. I am very happy to report that temp job quickly turned in to a permanent job and I now work 2 miles from home.  It all happens for a reason.  I held on to a job that gave me good health insurance coverage to get me thru some costly hospital stays.  The slow job switch held me in San Antonio at a crucial time, when having a new job would have made it hard to take time off and be there for my mom. After suffering thru a ridiculous commute, I was rewarded (it feels like a reward) with a very conveniently located job.  Thank you, God!

Music all around

Since moving to Austin, we have been enjoying more of the music scene Texas has to offer. Austin is famous for SXSW.  It attracts the masses and every year star gazing is not solely reserved to sitting under the Texas sky, but spotting one celebrity or another attending the 10 day event.

While many look forward to attending the next yearly festival with their latest emerging technology, films and music, we are happy to have a healthy dose of constant entertainment year-round. Surprisingly, not all the good musical entertainment is reserved for the city (Austin), the surrounding area is full of quaint little towns that can boast having successful bars, taverns, beer gardens and dancehalls.

The Saddle Sores

We have been fortunate to have made new friends whose musical family connections have them well informed of local bands.  Thru them we have been introduced to a number of music venues and had had excellent evenings.  One gem of a venue is this out of the way dance hall (thru miles of country roads & fields) in Coupland, TX.

Now the honey and I enjoy all types of music, but especially LIVE music.  These particular friends I have mentioned are partial to country music and thanks to them we have enjoyed a few local bands, the more memorable performances from “Mike & The Moonpies” & “The Saddle Sores”.  You just got to love their names.

Lake Street Dive at ACL

We have also caught in-town performances. My personal favorites from last year are “Lake Street Dive” which performed last Summer at the famous ACL (Austin City Limits) & “Mingo Fishtrap” on my birthday, the latter an Austin band I have been following for over a decade. 

Mingo Fishtrap at One2One

So, while the city is gearing up for another SXSW, many will be enjoying less crowded venues.  Still enjoying good music and of course, good drinks!

In sickness ...

When I was single and living alone, one of the things that made me feel the loneliest was getting sick.  There were a few times when some random illness left me feeling so crappy that I could barely make it out of bed to take care of myself. On a few of those times I manage to have full blown pity parties and wonder what I would do if I ever had a serious illness and lived on my own.

I should have focused more on “serious illness” and not so much on the “on my own” part.  I have never really been on my own.  I have always had family and close friends that I can depend on.  Unfortunately, single or married makes no difference when you are dealing with health issues.  They happen, they are scary, and you might even feel like you are walking thru a fog. 

Well I no longer wonder because it happened.  Illness serious enough to scare me, make me think of my mortality and totally piss me off.  Dealing with doctors, test and procedures was scary. Worrying about test results and thinking I may not have much time really pissed me off.  All those years of not settling and hoping that perhaps there was a right man for me somewhere (like grandma used to say) and feeling cheated if things took us in the worst direction. That really made me angry.  I hung on to anger like a floating device because I felt myself sinking.  It is now mostly a nightmare I put to bed, but the fear never goes away. Neither does sorrow.

We did a bit of hopping between cities a couple of years ago. Moved back to San Antonio only to relocate a year later to the Austin area.  During that time problems arose that all women dread and for about 6 months I was making frequent visits to my OBGYN. I have an incredible partner in my husband, and he behaved and cared for me the precise way I needed him to.  He held me together and helped me stay positive.  Sometimes he just held me.  The aftermath was that our last hope of having biological children of our own was finally lost.  The decision was made for us, though I had told myself if we hadn’t conceived by then it most likely wasn’t going to happen. 

I had to have a partial hysterectomy and I am healthy now.  I grieved for so many things but have been determined to stay positive.  We could adopt, foster or just be a house hold of two.  So far, we are enough for each other.  I am thankful I can continue to hang around and enjoy the marriage that we've built.

Thru all the chaos we stayed positive. We gambled/had faith (whatever you want to call it) that we would get thru it and bought our first house together as well as made the move to the Austin area.  Yeah, thru some good days and some bad days we house hunted, scheduled surgery, time off to recover and moved. 

Dealing with illness was a very scary time.  I had never stayed overnight at a hospital.  I had never had major surgery. I had never felt so embarrassed!  I am private about certain things but for the most part never squeamish with topics that most people would rather avoid.  However, sharing with my immediate family the reasons why I was having surgery was somehow painful.  I even considered not letting anyone know, but if something went horribly wrong my honey would be the one facing my family. Not a very fair thing to do.

I want to tell you that the whole ordeal left me feeling closer to my husband than all the years we had been together.  My married girlfriends told me many times that having children usually brought a couple closer and that you lost all shame with your partner.  Specifically, being able to use the bathroom with the other present. (Squirming) I have never understood how urinating/defecating in front of your partner makes you closer.  Nope, nope, nope!

I will never know the level of intimacy that is procreating with your partner, but the intimacy and vulnerability of dealing with illness. No prize (child) at the end of such a messy ordeal.  No other result but to get to stick around a little longer with each other until God/Fate decides it. 

Anyways, the honey and I are still private about our bathroom time although I confess that I insisted he close his eyes while he helped me on and off the potty while in the hospital.  My choices had been his help if a nurse could not show up soon enough to get me in the bathroom or a bed pan.  I hope you understand my choice.

I am very fortunate to have a caring partner.  His love and patience with me is beyond what I ever imagined a man I could call my husband would possess.  I think I have used up any sick points allotted for the first few years of marriage. Three months after my surgery I had an unscheduled hospital visit for a compound fracture. That was such a breeze in comparison that I insisted my husband not follow me directly to the hospital but stop and get himself some lunch first.  No need for both to suffer with hospital food.

Writing sabbatical; had several distractions

It has been a long sabbatical taken from blogging. A series of events pulled me away, even though I've had the time to blog. Reconciling my desire to write for pleasure and writing as a tool to cope with some challenges took a while. My amazing husband encouraged me to get back into it. So here I am again.  Sharing the ups and downs of a not-so-youngish marriage.