One of the common things about marring at an older age (be it a first, second or third marriage) is acquiring what I call an “instant family”. There are step kids and extended family that may find it awkward at first to give the new member of the family their place.
For my husband and I it was much easier. Neither one had children who might find it hard to name us (step-this or that). Luckily even our immediate families were “young” (newly married or with one child).
On my side of the family I didn’t’ get to interact much with my brother’s son when he was little (he is now almost 10); if I wasn’t a cartoon or on the boob tube I wasn’t paid attention to. When my nephew got a little older and began to pay attention, he assumed my honey (who he saw me with always) was already my husband and at one point asked him so. I was mortified at first hoping my honey did not think I had put the kid up to it (we had been dating several months) but thankfully he understood my nephew’s innocent assumption. So with our marriage my husband gained a nephew. One who is now taller than me and who half hugs, half tackles my honey when he greets him.
On my husband’s side of the family his brother had a baby girl that barely spoke when my honey and I started dating. Adorable and sweet; I couldn’t help falling in love with her. At first she was shy. Her parents tried to teach her my name and she couldn’t quite figure it out. I suggested she call me by the nickname my best friend’s son gave me when he could barely speak. That did it! Somehow being able to call me by a name she could pronounce allowed her to warm up to me. As far as our niece is concerned I have always been “aunt Momo” and now she has a little sister (our 6 month old niece) who I can’t wait until she can recognize us and of course, call me “Momo” also.
What has been more difficult for me isn’t the being accepted in my husband’s family, it is being recognized! I am wife #2 and after four years together (almost two of those years married) I still sometimes get called by wife #1’s name. Granted it is by extended family that we see maybe once a year and I guess it doesn’t help that my husband married the same “type”: Latina, short, curvy and also with eye glasses. Anyways, it is to be expected; at our age most “newlyweds” are at least on their second marriage so expecting not to be confused may be too much to ask.