Now I have a bed time..

All my life I suffered from insomnia.  No matter what I did I usually ended up falling a sleep around 1 a.m.  As a child, my mother would order me to bed when she would find me awake past midnight watching T.V.  As a preteen I would get in trouble for staying up watching re-runs of "M.A.S.H." or
"The Benny Hill Show".  Of course one would get me in to more trouble than the other.

She (my mother) attempted to send me to bed too when after her divorce I moved back in with her (then she had never lived alone EVER).  I quickly put a stop to that.  I was in my 20's and "keeping each other company" (living under the same roof) while she transitioned wasn't going to give her the right to set my bed time again.

Thru the years I tried many things to help me sleep.  As advised I abstained from keeping a T.V. in my bedroom so my subconscious would not associate laying in bed with watching T.V.  I also tried (unsuccessfully) not to watch T.V. or surf the Internet late at night, not to drink caffeine after a certain hour, drinking hot tea or a glass of wine, journal, reading the bible. You name it I tried it.  I am ashamed to say reading the bible did work a little, but guilt of using it to make me sleep made me stop reading it at night!

Most evenings I would lay in bed with my mind raising thinking about my "to do list" or the most idiotic things!  Things such as.. "When is the car due for an oil change?", "Did I remember to turn off the space heater in my office this evening?", "X's birthday is next month; what would be a good gift?", "Was that a noise I heard? Did I leave my escrima sticks in my trunk? What could I use as a weapon?"

In the end I just gave up and proclaimed myself a night owl!  I often thought I should go to bar tending school.  If I was going to stay up late most nights I might as well have a night job and get paid. 

Anyways, things changed when I met my honey.  Don't ask me how but being in his company on the nights we would spend together would quiet my mind.  No, he would not BORE ME TO SLEEP.  When it was time to go to bed I would curl up next to him and boom, OUT! No thinking, just brain pause!

I started falling a sleep at a decent hour!  It's been that way for me.  Now I even pass out before "bed time", but on the rare occasion I am not sleepy I have an internal fit if my husband "sends me to bed". Sometimes he turns off the T.V. when he is ready to turn in.  I could be in the bedroom with the T.V. on as background noise and he will turn it off on his way to brush his teeth. I absolutely want to hurt him!! 

We have this argument often!  I ask: "Why are you turning off the T.V. on me if you are still going to spend 15 minutes getting ready for bed?? His answers have been: "we've seen that program/movie before", "you aren't even paying attention", "you weren't even in the room watching." It does not matter!  I think it's rude of him and when I am PMSing I sure want to inflict pain, but I abstain, mainly from throwing something at him. 

The other thing my honey does is start announcing the time of night. What the heck is he, a watch man? (and not the superhero kind)  "It's 10 o'clock and all is clear!!" is what I wait to hear from him.. 

Not to defend him, after I've gripped about him but he does have the hardest job in the world and that is to help get me going in the morning.  No matter how many hours I have slept I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON!!! I am not fully awake until I've had a shower and may be a cup of coffee.  I know he is patient, but he is also smart enough to back off when I am PMSing because that is when I have my freak out moments. I start making smart ass remarks to his innocent/non-thinking/irritating as hell actions!!  "I am over 40, I don't need to be sent to bed ho-neeeey!", "Just because you are ready to turn in, doesn't mean I AM!", "HELLO??  I am still watching T.V.!!" "When did you turn in to my parent?"

Yes, he has to hear me grumble and walk around eyes half closed in the mornings (he calls me mole woman), but I am not his child!!  When I tell him I am not sleepy, well.. you can imagine the suggested entertainment he offers me. ;-)  Thing is, FORCING me to do anything only puts me in a bad mood!

This morning as I sluggishly got out of bed and shuffled thru the house getting ready for work I longed for his "bed time" reminder.  He is at a conference out of town and I stayed up later than usual.  Once I actually got in bed it was quite a while before I fell a sleep so today I am on "Slow-Mo". 

I have another night "unsupervised" ahead of me.  I sure hope it's not a repeat!