I've been in a constant state of grief ever since my honey decided to act on his constitutional right to bear arms. With the tragic deaths in Texas this year where court officers were shot my honey felt it necessary to acquire a gun. I have mixed feelings on the subject. My family has a history of being in law enforcement so I am not totally unfamiliar with firearms.
Obtaining a Concealed Handgun License was encouraged at my honey's job and so without hesitation he filled out all the forms, and signed up for the class, but not before running to buy one more pistol (the thought never crossed his mind to discuss the purchase with his spouse)! He took the class, applied for a license and shortly after; "Ta-Dah", he started leaving home armed!
Now I don't want this post to be about the pros and cons of guns. To each their own minds, conscience and civil duty to vote for or against laws in their own state!
My worry is knowing my husband is out and about armed! And when I say out and about I don't mean at work: where security could always be improved. I mean he takes it just about everywhere!! This really stresses me. I see my husband as someone who could handle himself, but my number one fear is of him being disarmed and having his piece used against him.
Like I said, I am not uncomfortable being around firearms. My brother is a police officer and I see him armed on and off duty. I believe it's the fact that IT IS MY BROTHER'S JOB to carry. I know him to religiously go to target practice and to have the respect firearms deserve. It is HIS JOB to be knowledgeable and proficient with firearms!
My honey tells me he grew up around guns. Heck, my father in law has given both his sons some type of gun as gifts. The thing is that it was several years into our relationship before we discussed having a gun in our home and before then I never considered seeing my husband in that light! I knew my honey to be more of an "egg-head". A smart man, full of logic and knowledge but never a gun carrying guy. In all the time I've known him he's never been hunting, as to say he is a hunter and therefor is familiar with guns.
He is also not ex-military, and he is definitely not one of those doomsday survivalists. I know my worrying may make my husband feel like I think him incompetent when it comes to carrying an arm. That is not the case. My true grief is now seeing my husband as a possible target. You see, I grew up without a father. My dad was in law enforcement and died in the line of duty. Those are the dreaded words "Line of Duty".
I saw my mother lose a husband whose job was putting himself on the line every single day! Now my mother will say that she married a "regular Joe"-- she never dreamed he would enter law enforcement after they got married. She lived in a constant fear of him not coming home, and in the end one day he didn't.
I had felt relieved that I didn't have to worry every single day like my mom did since I did not marry a cop, but suddenly now I do! Seeing my honey carrying a gun on him only makes me imagine the worst scenarios and it stresses me! I know with the recent shootings this week some might think I should feel some relief knowing my husband is not unprotected and may have better odds if fate brought violence to his feet but it doesn't. The truth is my fear is of losing my loved one and him carrying a gun only makes the possibility more real to me.
We will most likely continue to be a nation divided by our gun laws, but my heart and prayers go out to those who've been recently touched by these latest tragedies.
