On the Menu

Indulged in late afternoon lunch with my honey.  I spent my noon time speaking over the phone with my Tia (aunt) and friend who lives up in Hobart, Indiana and was lucky enough to have had a patient husband who didn’t have a problem with me claiming the kitchen for my chat.  It only became an emergency to get off the phone when he poked his head in at about 1:30 p.m. and seem to decide I still needed privacy before he turned and walked out.  I honestly can talk to my aunt for hours! 

Anyway, I quickly got off the phone and since it was past “feeding time” for my honey, who has an internal clock that always lets him know it’s noon! I felt awful that he waited until past 2 before he ever showed signs of HANGER.  I offered to make him a quick and yummy sandwich for lunch if he didn’t have a game plan or know what he wanted to eat.

I got in the zone and started pulling a few of my favorite ingredients.  After completing what I felt was a masterpiece I could not wait to have him take a bite!  I put a lot of thought on how to layer the ingredients and was excited to see his reaction.  I don’t know that he was as excited as I, but he liked the sandwich and we had a nice meal at the kitchen table.  Said table partially covered with a couple of my sketches and supplies and in this week’s make-shift desk/work area.  (My honey travels between our dining room, coffee, and kitchen table.)

While enjoying our lunch he read what I assume was news or blogs online and I looked around at all the supplies at close reach.  I was still high on the flavors of the sandwich I was eating when inspiration tickled my brain.  Thinking I really wanted to have this sandwich again I thought of writing it down as one of my favorite recipes. I grabbed a note pad and pen from within reach and set out to write down a quick draft before pulling my recipe journal  Like many, I have tons of recipe books,  printed recipes I’ve found online and even a few torn from magazines.  I have copied only my favorites on to a recipe journal that also contains a few of my creations and some handed down from different family members. It is my own recipe book.

My thought process was to list the ingredients in the order they were laid out to be able to (like any recipe) recreate it.  ---  How many times have I written the word recipe?  Count for your own amusement!

The thought popped up how just listing the ingredients, without measurements/quantities sort of made it read like and item on a menu.  Hey, we should start a sandwich menu.  I looked across and demanded that my honey accept the privilege to name the sandwich.  He plays along with my random thoughts just as much as I do with his. (Yep, love that man of mine!) Anyways, I wrote down his name. (the name he came up with, not my honeys actual name).

The Maclovio – Dark toasted Oatnut whole grain bread with layer of sandwich spread, crispy Romine lettuce, thick slice of Jalapeno Jack cheese, warm thinly sliced Boarhead honey-roasted turkey, Roma tomatoes, pickle chips, and layer of coarse grain mustard. 

As I wrote I ate and let my mind flow.. My inner monologue Not a sandwich menu but our own house menu. How cool (yep, “cool” is still my word!) would it be to write a kitchen menu?  Suddenly a small plate of nachos appeared in front of me. Like usual, my honey inhaled his lunch and also as usual the portion of food I gave him was not adequate for his hunger.  

I picked a nacho chip or two since he offered and said to him, “I name these TRINITY NACHOS!" They have 3 ingredients and we can maybe make the name of menu items (no longer just sandwiches) relatable to family members. (One of our relatives is named Trinity). I asked my honey to write down his "creation."

As I continued to eat my sandwich, I transferred my rough draft of the sandwich recipe and scribbled it onto a clean yellow notepad paper.  I came up with a third entry to our menu, the Sweet Marilyn (named after another relative). A dessert I found online that is made up of baked granny smith apples, melted butter, brown sugar, ground cinnamon and oats. 

Create your own house menu. This is another idea for your quarantine entertainment. 

Weird Entertainment in Times of Quarantine #1

Like most, these past couple of month we have been on lock down.  There is so much (at times not enough) cleaning to be done around the house, organizing, reading and planning of meals one can do.   I am not a gardener, unlike my favorite neighbors who have used up their time at home wisely by revamping their back yard with an impressive new vegetable garden (I am more of a indoor potted plan aficionado).

With the "No large gatherings" permitted and the stall on all professional sports there has been quite a bit of time to fill. Luckily we were introduced by one of our favorite late night show hosts, John Oliver, to the surprisingly soothing an yet exciting world of marble racing.  Yes, you read correctly, MARBLES!

I confess at first I rolled my eyes at it, but on closer look I could appreciate the work that goes in to creating tracks, arenas with fans and even clever commentating. My anxious brain shuts down in a soothing fulfilment for competitive games and is even exhilarated with the dramatic scores/results.

Apparently these races and Olympic games have been going on for over a decade.  I hope you consider checking them out. Something to do when you are sick of the news and can't commit to another movie/series on your favorite streaming service.

Has it been a year?

I can't believe it's been OVER a year since my last post.  Too many things taking up my short attention span.  Good intentions pushed to the back burner.  I meant to update the blog.  It isn't relevant to how my life has changed, with what I intended to share/document that is no longer new to me.

Anyways.  It is my blog.  Not a chore/job.  The beauty of it is that I can crawl back in here and let my thoughts bounce around like a pinball (Hubby has subjected me to YouTube videos of Pinball Wizard. - I did not object!)

First of let me share that this terrifying year of quarantine (2020) looked less scary at the beginning of it, but for the exception that the big 5-0 would land early on me.  Funny thing was that my fear of turning 50 was not of getting older, but of not reaching the milestone birthday at all.  I had terrible nightmares for days up until my birthday.  I have never cared about birthdays, never cared to hide my age.  My reason has always been that my father passed soon after his 32nd birthday so every year I have lived past that age has been a blessing.

Now... If I look my age or not it is strictly my fault for not doing a better job at maintaining the only body I have and not the passing of time. Some years I did great, some years I said "fuck it!"

I pray you are all being careful, being kind, being supportive, being charitable despite and because of all the crazy going on.  We all knew 2020 would be a leap year, we just didn't understand we should leap over it and go straight in to 2021.

Have faith we will get our act together and figure out (though slow learners) how to move forward.  How to become a better version of ourselves, and how to take this punishing year as a wakeup call to be better.  Tired of this bull about "making America great again".  Too short-sighted, too exclusive.  How about "Becoming better human beings"?  Everyone!  No specific gender, race or nation.  All of us becoming better people!

Work here, work there, work everywhere.

After our move to Austin I had to keep my job to hang on to the health coverage that would be taking care of my scheduled surgery.  I was able to telecommute part of the week before and after (surgery) and for a while having to drive in to San Antonio wasn’t so bad. I worked for a pretty good company for over a decade, but the 200-plus mile round trip began to sting after a while.  I began a job search closer to home, but shortly after I again ended up in the hospital.  This time with a broken kneecap. I was fortunate the San Antonio job gave me a flexible schedule and allowed me to work from home, because the recovery time was much longer. Just as soon as I was back up to speed there were big changes at work that stopped me from telecommuting, which gave me a bigger incentive to switch jobs.

I would like to say that in no time I was able to find a job in Austin. Nope, that wasn’t the case.  I am a firm believer that everything happens “in time” or “God’s time”.  I had a job offer that fell thru and a job offer I declined for something much promising that ended up not promising at all.  Then my mother suffered a car wreck that had a few complications and pushed her in to early retirement.  It became a blessing to still be working in San Antonio and be able to help care for my mom. (job search on hold)

I had begun to stay in San Antonio a few nights a week and that quickly turned in to the full work week with me driving home on weekends. Not surprising it put a strain on our marriage. I became a part time wife and felt like a guest in my own home.  Both the honey and I would do our best not to waste precious time complaining or bickering when we saw each other, but the restraint made it worse because often we would end up blowing up at each other for insignificant things. 

I worked for a long period without any time off using any accumulated vacation to schedule job interviews.  Not knowing my way around a new city (Austin) made it difficult to gauge whether job prospects were conveniently located. If you live in or near a large and very congested city you know how easily 20 to 30 miles can equate to a 60 minute-plus commute. 

Again, “in time/God’s time”. My employer was aware of my job search, so I was a prime candidate when the need to cut some positions came around. I had a bit of notice so was able to line up some temp work.  I ended my longest held job on a Friday and started a temporary job the following Monday. I am very happy to report that temp job quickly turned in to a permanent job and I now work 2 miles from home.  It all happens for a reason.  I held on to a job that gave me good health insurance coverage to get me thru some costly hospital stays.  The slow job switch held me in San Antonio at a crucial time, when having a new job would have made it hard to take time off and be there for my mom. After suffering thru a ridiculous commute, I was rewarded (it feels like a reward) with a very conveniently located job.  Thank you, God!

Music all around

Since moving to Austin, we have been enjoying more of the music scene Texas has to offer. Austin is famous for SXSW.  It attracts the masses and every year star gazing is not solely reserved to sitting under the Texas sky, but spotting one celebrity or another attending the 10 day event.

While many look forward to attending the next yearly festival with their latest emerging technology, films and music, we are happy to have a healthy dose of constant entertainment year-round. Surprisingly, not all the good musical entertainment is reserved for the city (Austin), the surrounding area is full of quaint little towns that can boast having successful bars, taverns, beer gardens and dancehalls.

The Saddle Sores

We have been fortunate to have made new friends whose musical family connections have them well informed of local bands.  Thru them we have been introduced to a number of music venues and had had excellent evenings.  One gem of a venue is this out of the way dance hall (thru miles of country roads & fields) in Coupland, TX.

Now the honey and I enjoy all types of music, but especially LIVE music.  These particular friends I have mentioned are partial to country music and thanks to them we have enjoyed a few local bands, the more memorable performances from “Mike & The Moonpies” & “The Saddle Sores”.  You just got to love their names.

Lake Street Dive at ACL

We have also caught in-town performances. My personal favorites from last year are “Lake Street Dive” which performed last Summer at the famous ACL (Austin City Limits) & “Mingo Fishtrap” on my birthday, the latter an Austin band I have been following for over a decade. 

Mingo Fishtrap at One2One

So, while the city is gearing up for another SXSW, many will be enjoying less crowded venues.  Still enjoying good music and of course, good drinks!

In sickness ...

When I was single and living alone, one of the things that made me feel the loneliest was getting sick.  There were a few times when some random illness left me feeling so crappy that I could barely make it out of bed to take care of myself. On a few of those times I manage to have full blown pity parties and wonder what I would do if I ever had a serious illness and lived on my own.

I should have focused more on “serious illness” and not so much on the “on my own” part.  I have never really been on my own.  I have always had family and close friends that I can depend on.  Unfortunately, single or married makes no difference when you are dealing with health issues.  They happen, they are scary, and you might even feel like you are walking thru a fog. 

Well I no longer wonder because it happened.  Illness serious enough to scare me, make me think of my mortality and totally piss me off.  Dealing with doctors, test and procedures was scary. Worrying about test results and thinking I may not have much time really pissed me off.  All those years of not settling and hoping that perhaps there was a right man for me somewhere (like grandma used to say) and feeling cheated if things took us in the worst direction. That really made me angry.  I hung on to anger like a floating device because I felt myself sinking.  It is now mostly a nightmare I put to bed, but the fear never goes away. Neither does sorrow.

We did a bit of hopping between cities a couple of years ago. Moved back to San Antonio only to relocate a year later to the Austin area.  During that time problems arose that all women dread and for about 6 months I was making frequent visits to my OBGYN. I have an incredible partner in my husband, and he behaved and cared for me the precise way I needed him to.  He held me together and helped me stay positive.  Sometimes he just held me.  The aftermath was that our last hope of having biological children of our own was finally lost.  The decision was made for us, though I had told myself if we hadn’t conceived by then it most likely wasn’t going to happen. 

I had to have a partial hysterectomy and I am healthy now.  I grieved for so many things but have been determined to stay positive.  We could adopt, foster or just be a house hold of two.  So far, we are enough for each other.  I am thankful I can continue to hang around and enjoy the marriage that we've built.

Thru all the chaos we stayed positive. We gambled/had faith (whatever you want to call it) that we would get thru it and bought our first house together as well as made the move to the Austin area.  Yeah, thru some good days and some bad days we house hunted, scheduled surgery, time off to recover and moved. 

Dealing with illness was a very scary time.  I had never stayed overnight at a hospital.  I had never had major surgery. I had never felt so embarrassed!  I am private about certain things but for the most part never squeamish with topics that most people would rather avoid.  However, sharing with my immediate family the reasons why I was having surgery was somehow painful.  I even considered not letting anyone know, but if something went horribly wrong my honey would be the one facing my family. Not a very fair thing to do.

I want to tell you that the whole ordeal left me feeling closer to my husband than all the years we had been together.  My married girlfriends told me many times that having children usually brought a couple closer and that you lost all shame with your partner.  Specifically, being able to use the bathroom with the other present. (Squirming) I have never understood how urinating/defecating in front of your partner makes you closer.  Nope, nope, nope!

I will never know the level of intimacy that is procreating with your partner, but the intimacy and vulnerability of dealing with illness. No prize (child) at the end of such a messy ordeal.  No other result but to get to stick around a little longer with each other until God/Fate decides it. 

Anyways, the honey and I are still private about our bathroom time although I confess that I insisted he close his eyes while he helped me on and off the potty while in the hospital.  My choices had been his help if a nurse could not show up soon enough to get me in the bathroom or a bed pan.  I hope you understand my choice.

I am very fortunate to have a caring partner.  His love and patience with me is beyond what I ever imagined a man I could call my husband would possess.  I think I have used up any sick points allotted for the first few years of marriage. Three months after my surgery I had an unscheduled hospital visit for a compound fracture. That was such a breeze in comparison that I insisted my husband not follow me directly to the hospital but stop and get himself some lunch first.  No need for both to suffer with hospital food.

Writing sabbatical; had several distractions

It has been a long sabbatical taken from blogging. A series of events pulled me away, even though I've had the time to blog. Reconciling my desire to write for pleasure and writing as a tool to cope with some challenges took a while. My amazing husband encouraged me to get back into it. So here I am again.  Sharing the ups and downs of a not-so-youngish marriage.