Not exactly the Oscars, but thanks anyway!

I've caught the last two award shows on T.V. (AMAs and Oscars) this year, and anyone whose seen them or any other award ceremony has heard a recipient thank specific people for their help and support.  It is specially touching when a spouse is acknowledged.. 

Well to my surprise I got my own acknowledgement.  You see, my honey was asked to collaborate on the writing of a wargame last year and it was finally published last month.  I have been so very proud of my honey.  He has been talking about wanting to one day write a book and things worked out that he was able to write about a subject he enjoys.

This weekend he was finally able to show me on the hard copy of the book that he mentioned me in the acknowledments, and I was truly moved.  I did nothing but encourage him to enjoy his free time doing what he likes.  So the writing may only be a wargame and not Nobel prize-worthy, but his thanks made a knot in my throat. 

I hope (my love) this is a stepping stone to a bigger dream!

Having children over 40

We have been married for over 3 years and I love to say that we've enjoyed ourselves "honeymooning" all this time.  Never having been married before (Me; it's my honey's second time at the rodeo) I chose not to be a single parent and spent years doing "everything under the sun" to avoid a pregnancy. 

Once I realized I wanted to share the rest of my life with my honey, the desire to start a family was a major thing we both agreed on.  I confess I have feared taking a STEP I can't take back.  Parenthood isn't something to be taken lightly.  Every month I have been relieved as well as disappointed not to be pregnant.  I also confess to not having been as proactive about getting pregnant as I was about not getting pregnant (in my single years).

I have been shamelessly blaming God!  I am a "Christian" and believe children are God's blessing, but I also believe in the saying "God helps those who help themselves".  I haven't helped myself! We've been only going about it the "old fashioned way". 

When my honey and I moved in together, we knew it wasn't just shaking up.  We had discussed marriage already.  I asked my honey to please let me enjoy all the facets of a relationship.  I wanted to be a girlfriend and a fiance (and not rush in to marriage). I wanted adequate time to make sure we were making the right choice "for the rest of our lives".

In my mind I never had the picture that so many women have of "My Wedding Day".  I lacked that gene, because I was totally clueless when it came to planning a wedding. If it wasn't for my girlfriends who stirred me in to the right direction often lighting a fire under me to get all different arrangements done for an intimate wedding ceremony I would have probably taken the easy road and gotten married at the courthouse. (To my Honey; please no comments about how much money & stress we could have saved!)

Anyways, for me.. the idea/dream of "getting married"  was a timeline progression in a relationship.  Meeting, being exclusive, trial period, getting married, two or three years making sure we didn't make a mistake and having some "alone" time before bringing in a third party (meaning babies, third parties have always been non-negotiable!).

We've been having fun all along, and despite the occasional heart felt disappointment of "not yet" getting pregnant, it's been mostly when another girlfriend is expecting. I haven't been to anxious about taking advantage of all the "help" available these days.  I haven't consulted a fertility doctor about why "we" haven't gotten pregnant.  I've been told extra weight sometimes does not help, yet I have been doing very little there too!

My best friend has had "the talk" with me several times.  We need to make a decision!  Time isn't just ticking, we are in overtime!  May be it's because "we don't feel our age", and we are so young at heart that the concept of time running out hadn't been real!  There is also indecision, when I AM feeling old (not enough sleep, too much work, or occasional back pain) I ask myself if I REALLY want to take on running around after a kiddo at 40 something.

Well, it became real to me a couple of months back.  We were having dinner with another couple, friends of mine for many years when my girlfriend mentioned they had wanted to start a family but she had been diagnosed as pre-menopausal.  That funky tunnel feeling you watch in some movies took over me!  I am almost 3 years older than she is!! Needless to say I could not fully concentrate on the rest of the evening. Regret for taking "my time" and not making a decision landed heavily on me. 

I've known (and I don't mean WE here at all) that I do not want to get on some hormone program to conceive.  The thought scares me!  I am afraid to mutate in to an emotionally unstable witch that will most likely achieve pregnancy as well as push her partner to run away for dear life.  I already have a temper and often wonder how my honey has not locked me in a closet sometimes when I am PMSing.

We known that we have too much debt right now and no money for expensive treatments.  I also believe that getting in debt to fulfill the desire to have a baby may result in to not being able to provide later for that wanted offspring.  On top of that, fertility treatments usually result in multiple births or the dilemma of what to do with unfertilized eggs.  I am pro-choice, but admit MY choice would never be to terminate a life. 

So I waste time thinking of all the possibilities and hoping that God/Fate will make the decision for me.  I do know that the bigger regret of not having children would be my husband missing out on being a "dad".  I think he would be an excellent parent. 

I feel extremely blessed/lucky to have found my mate (especially when I had resigned myself to not ever finding him) and sometimes I think it a bit greedy wanting the happy family as well.

2012 Year End Recap..

Happy NEW YEAR!

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday.   I truly enjoyed the 2012 Thanksgiving/Christmas season.  There wasn't much time to blog, though there were a few things to blog about.  We (the Honey and myself) were able to take more than 5 consecutive "work" days of vacation, ran East and West thru Texas spending time with family and actually got to veg out at home for a day or two without stepping foot out the door!  This last was particularly nice since we lived out of a suitcase for most of the Christmas holiday.

The cool weather called me to the kitchen.  There were fewer home cooked meals, but more than usual holiday baking.  There were the favorite Rum Raisin Oatmeal cookies, Pumpkin Cheesecake, and this year we tackled Buñuelos which caused us to almost set the house on fire.

The world did NOT end, thank goodness!  I spend the last hours of the "Apocalypse" (Dec 21st) with my best girlfriends drinking and dinning on our early Christmas celebration.  I am ashamed to think that had the world really ended I would have been 50 miles from my husband.  It wasn't intentional, it was the only night a small group of us could agree to meet for a "girls night".

Anyway, the highlight of our holiday season is that we finally upgraded our much needed cell phones.  I am a big tightwad and fight technology kicking and screaming mostly because the high cost of it. Luckily for me my husband is very much aware of the student loan debt we carry and he won't jump on the "techie band waggon" every time a new "toy" has been launched.

Another toy we acquired was a "Nook".  Now my husband is a purist when it comes to reading.  He loves to handle the actual printed work in his hands.  He proudly carries a library card and enjoys checking out books on a regular basis.  We had talked about buying some e-reading device, but argued against spending money on another gadget. I didn't think we would get such a device any time soon unless it was a gift or something. 

Well, I lucked out this year.  I NEVER win anything, honestly!  I don't have good luck when it comes to raffles or any type of gambling. This year I won a Nook as a door prize at my company Christmas luncheon.  It really came in handy while traveling thru Texas by car.  (Slo-Mo read Pride & Prejudice in 2 1/2 days)

This year there was no time to send out Christmas cards.  I like to send them with a current picture of us, but with my working late just about every night to be able to take vacation,  not being able to get a hair appointment (no way my gray was making a grand appearance on our cards) and my honey walking around all shaggy reliving his younger years with longer hair after Movember there was no chance to take a good picture.  So..  I may just end up printing a version of this blog and sending out our first "news letter" to family & friends.

Christmas 2012

The season has been a busy one.  Spending time with friends, shopping and arranging things at work to be able to take time off has taken up all my time to blog.

I did not want to let the holiday pass without wishing you all a wonderful Christmas. May the time you spend with family and loved  ones be a treasured memory.

If you have an extra minute check out my honey's page for some holiday fun..

Finders keepers

I have mentioned that I am the main one to do the wash in our home, but it isn't my chore alone!  One of our first agreements when the honey and I moved in together about the laundry was that he was NEVER to do my laundry unless he was willing to dish out money to replace anything he ruined.  My honey is not the type to stop and thoroughly read labels on how something should be washed.  I however have always taken special care of my clothes and for that very same reason I have items that are years old and are still in great shape..



Money laundering

The second agreement we made about laundry came after my honey requested that I always check pockets before throwing things in the washer.  Ahemmm..  I don't know if it's a  woman thing or not, but I usually do that before my clothes make it in to the dirty laundry hamper.  Instead, in order to ensure not to be responsible for what got missed and accidentally wash something important I suggested we agreed that who ever did the laundry would get to keep any cash that was found in the wash. That kind of encouraged my honey to check his own pockets!

The only times I do check his pockets is on items taken to the cleaners.  It doesn't happen often that our washer yields cash in the laundry, but here is today's jackpot!

Kitchen calling

Cooler weather calls me to the kitchen.    Between the pumpkin cheesecake, the pumpkin muffin mishap (unbelievably I forgot to add milk to the batter) and the banana muffin comeback; I have been cooking up a storm, starting with the Thanksgiving holiday. We cooked the traditional turkey and our beef stuffing.  Ok, ok.. "dressing" not stuffing.  Each year I get a lesson from my father-in-law about not calling it stuffing if it isn't actually cooked IN THE BIRD!

My honey doesn't care as long as I make it.  He is a true carnivore so the 4-meat (beef, bacon, Vienna sausage & ham) ensemble is something he salivates for all year long and when it finally comes is reluctant to let go of (in form of guests taking left overs home).

Each year I get one step closer to writing down the recipe, which I've had every intention of giving to my siblings. I learned it by helping mom & grandma in the kitchen and mostly I "eyeball" it just like they do.



Beef "stuffing"

It's hard to stop and write down a recipe which you only cook once or twice a year. Especially when one is cooking and trying not to kill the other people sharing the stove.  This year I had a little "snap" and declared ONLY TWO PEOPLE AT THE STOVE!!

 It happened when we (me included) kept turning up and down the wrong burners while cooking the Thanksgiving meal: both my in-laws (insisting they help with the cooking), the honey and I reaching to control the burners.

At one point all four had our arms extended reaching for a knob to turn.  I had to send a couple of them away from the stove afraid we would burn part of our feast.  Of course my honey has been enjoying the fruits of my labor no matter the outcome.  I was just telling my mother-in-law about her son.  Any food I put in front of him he will eat it!  As long as he is fed, he is happy!  There has only been one dish I've cooked that he hasn't liked.  He mentioned he didn't care too much for it, and of course at the time still being a new couple it absolutely hurt my feelings.  Now neither one can remember exactly what it was that he didn't like, might have been a "new" recipe" but he has never complained again. 

Anyways, the temperature is dropping and I am already in the mood for stew.  I found a recipe a few years back when I went hunting on the FoodNetwork website for stews that has become my "go to recipe" for winter comfort food. I've modified it a bit to our liking (add mushrooms, reduce wine & onion), but I recomend it.  Just a few more degrees in temperature drop please, I am ready to cook!

"Driving Ms Daisy" to madness!!

Like most husbands, my honey usually takes charge behind the wheel driving us around. Yesterday we spent too much time trapped in a car together.  Early in the morning we left town towards San Antonio (we live 30 miles north of the city) so I could participate in the Dirty Girl run.  It was a 50 minute drive of which he decided to take "the scenic route" veering off thru his old neighborhood (pre-marriage) that caused me to stress. Not quite the best idea when I had a set time to meet my team. We bickered a bit; him reassuring/mocking me we had plenty of time but then we encountered 30 more minutes stuck in the event traffic  In his defense, neither one of us had attended before so we had no clue of the amount of people (participants and spectators) heading there.




Team of co-workers & spouses 12-01-2012

After the event we were stuck in line trying to get out of the parking lot for AN HOUR AND A HALF, during which there was plenty of huffing, puffing, and storming out of the car to walk to the front of the line and see what was going on. I could have easily stood in line for what had looked like a 40 minute wait to the showers instead of opting to just change clothing and head home. I'll let you guess which of us did the storming though it was not the one with mud in places that had never seen mud before. I had my own little breakdown, mainly to stop all the comotion inside the car and remind my honey there was someone with him who was even more uncomfortable sitting in traffic. There were a few other people who I thought were going to get in to fist fights with the poor guys directing traffic, but I can only feel bad for the folks working the event not the organizers.

Anyways, there was our trip back home (six hours after we left) only to "immediately" (as quickly as I could scrape off all the dried up mud) turn around again to drive in to San Antonio for a dinner party and guess what? Yep,  more traffic.  How we survived all the driving is beyond me, but the benefit run and later a great time with friends Saturday outweigh the hours trapped in a car. 

It always happens.  We go for a couple of weeks being hermits enjoying time at home, and then there are weekends when we are so busy we pretty much just come home to sleep.  Luckily we balance each other pretty well and manage to hang in there together to make the best of bad situations and still enjoy ourselves.